How To Toss A Salad

Tossing salad is an art, and it takes dedication and a gentle nature to do it properly.  Many people are hesitant to try salad tossing at home because they are afraid it will become a messy chore, but if done properly a salad can be tossed with little necessary cleanup, leaving you with a satisfied feeling.

First choose your lettuce.  It must be fresh and showing minimal signs of wilting, and in order for you to find it palatable in the end, must be washed by hand first.  Do this in advance, as nothing kills the mood like a break in the action for the purposes of basic hygiene.

Next it’s time to get to chopping.  Don’t think this is skipping the foreplay, because it isn’t.  The chopping is only the start of the action, I assure you.  Your aim is to lubricate the salad with a little oil, and loosen it up for the upcoming fondling.  There is nothing less appetizing than a dry, dusty salad tossing.  Get liberal with the drizzle and get that salad in manageable sections so nothing is neglected.  You are going to need to get into every nook and cranny to treat this salad proper.

Now you need to be willing to get your hands dirty.  Some people might get a little squeamish on this step, but you will need to soldier on.  You know what you were in for when you signed up for some salad tossing.  To make sure everything gets mixed up properly you will need to toss for about three to four minutes, or until the salad begs you to stop, which ever comes first.  Just remember to maintain eye contact, and as always, when tossing a salad you will need to remember to cup the bowls.

Now that the salad has had its fun, you get your turn.  Dress that salad with everything you’ve got.  Some say you should always dress your salad before tossing it, but that is not the gentleman’s way.  A good tosser knows that the salad always get’s its end first.  And besides, you are going to be all tuckered out once the dressing sprays its last drop, so get all the hard work done first.

And that, my friends, is how you properly toss a salad.

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