Spaghetti Again?

Eww! No No No NO!!  Don't let it touch me.  I don't care if you think it is cute.  Hose it off and I'll consider giving you false praise for your filthy loin leavings. 

What!?  You too!?  No, I would not like to meet your child.  What is it covered in?  It doesn't matter what it is because I won't be getting close enough to smell it.  Do all kids eat only spaghetti?

I'm gonna be sick.  Why does it have to laugh with every mouthful.  It is getting everywhere.  Why do you condone this action?  You laugh and encourage the filth?  Could you open that door for me I need to leave.  No, I won't touch the door knob myself.  This place reeks of infant plague.

OK.  Thanks.  It threw up, so I threw up.  I hope you are happy.  Good luck getting that red wine out of that rug.  That rug was fucked anyway.  Your kid is a walking dung mop.

Thanks for having me over.  Don't bother inviting me next time.  Your family is a mess and I hate you for it.

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