Aaaarrrrgghhh! My Fucking Hand!

"One of my greatest passions is fitness. I would be the happiest woman in the world if I could just tan and relax and workout all day.  I go to the gym everyday of the week and twice on weekends, and have always struggled with the big, heavy glass doors at the entrance.  The other day I was walking out after a particularly hard workout when my phone rang.  I was fishing in my purse for it while holding open the door when.... Snap!  The door fucking crushed my fucking finger!  Cunt fucking whore!  Oh, Jesus.... God fucking damn this fucking hurts!  No, God!  My finger is fucking CROOKED!  Aaagggh!" -  Bonnie Arthur, Granger NV

"I grew up surrounded by wilderness, and to this day most of my personal hobbies and pastimes involve the outdoors.  I particularly enjoy horseback riding and archery.  A few months ago I had just finished a Saturday afternoon excursion with my favorite horse when I decided to do some target practice with my compound bow.  After a few dozen shots without incident I faltered and the arrow slipped from by grip for a second and... Goddamn my fucking hand!  Aaaaghh sweet mercy it fucking hurts!  Why didn't it go all the way through?  Now I have to drive myself to the fucking emergency room....  Ahhhh!  It fucking burns!" -  Glen Boughby, Charlotte NC

"My girlfriend and I recently became engaged and decided to move in together.  This meant getting a bigger apartment and finally clearing out the bachelor pad.  I had mostly finished with all the small stuff when it came to moving furniture.  Well my fiancee wasn't much of a help in the heavy lifting department, so I was pretty much on my own with the couch.  I moved it slowly, inch by inch, and was trying to lower it gently down the porch steps when it began to slide.  I quickly grabbed hold and.... Fucking shit!  Goddamn fucking BASTARD!  Is it gone!?  Is it gone!?  Oh my God my fingernail was ripped off!  Aaagggh fucking hell it hurts!    Look at the blood!  LOOK AT IT!" -  Bryan Felcher, San Francisco CA

"I have been a hardworking man my whole life.  It's how my parents raised me.  I enjoy a good days work and have never done a desk job, nor could I.  With over twenty years of labor under my belt without serious injury I stopped being as careful as I should be last year at the factory.  I was working on the fanblades in the jet lathe and forgot to cut the power first, when Jackie bumped the instrument panel and... Holy fucking agony!  Oh, cruel God  kill me now!!  My flesh has been spiral cut like a honey-baked ham!  God make it stop!  PLEASE God make the pain stop!" -  Hank Frother, Benton CT