Congressional Drinking Game

Drink Responsibly, Vomit Discreetly

Getting Started: 

Three or more participants, or one raging alcoholic with no friends.  Must play with beer, as anything with a higher alcohol content would kill a horse in twenty minutes.  Turn on C-SPAN and obey all drinking rules (listed below).  You will need regular and shot glasses.

Rules:

1. You must drink 1 shot of beer whenever someone says any of the following:

• "Mandate"
• "Reach across the aisle"
• "Partisan"
• "Founding fathers"
• "Job creator"
• "Gamesmanship"
• "Family values"

2. You must drink 1 full beer whenever someone says any of the following:

• "Obamacare"
• "Ronald Reagan"
• "911"
• "American exceptionalism"
• "Traditional marriage"

3. Any participant can force another player to drink a full beer if they are the first to shout "Fucksticks!" when any of the following occurs:

• When any politician who has been involved in a sex scandal appears.
• A speaker utters an applause line or joke that falls flat.
• Michele Bachmann displays a chart or graph.
• Someone makes a religious comment.
• Any politician who has participated in a failed Presidential or Vice Presidential election appears.
• There is a person speaking at a podium and they are not a white male.

4. Any on air awkward silence of more than 10 seconds initiates a 1 beer speed round.  Winner gets temporary ownership of the restroom.  Anyone wishing to use it has to pay the owner $1 until the owner uses the restroom personally, which relinquishes ownership.  The speed round cannot be re-initiated while there is an active owner.

5. At any time a participant can scream "Bullshit!" in response to a claim made by a politician.  That person has 3 minutes to prove the claim false in an online search.  If they succeed all other participants must drink 1 beer.  If they fail they must drink 2 glasses of beer.


Every player wins, as long as they don't end up like this guy.
Happy Drinking!

I bet he is dreaming about childbirth